|
Please Submit Your Feelings, Emotions, Stories, or Questions>
Begin The Healing Process
courage to fight the fear!
steph.t
4 posts
Sep 20, 2011
9:24 PM
|
I am pretty new to this site. I found it by mistake while looking up the connection between miscarriage and hypothyroidism. Which I was diagnosed with when I was 18. When I was 19 I was referred to a gyno after a physical led us to finding a lump in my left breast. When everything came back normal I was told that because my family dr did my physicals that I didn't need to come back until I was pregnant or had other complications. Fast forward 3 yrs and after trying for a year and a half, in oct 2010 I began to start what I thought was my period. Then came the pain and the heavy bleeding! I didn't even know I was pregnant! When I called the gyno they told me that because I had not been in 3 yrs, they pretty much could not help me! I was so scared and depressed! After finding another dr, she helped us to make a new plan to conceive! After 3 months I started clomid. The 1st month I responded a little, so the 2nd month we upped the dose. I had no response! So we decided to wait untill my next period came and then I would start bc in an effort to jump start things so to speak! 2 weeks later I started having symptoms of pregnancy! After 4 more weeks of neg home tests and even more symptoms I called the dr and left a message! The very next day, a week from mothers day, I had a sudden pain, and I knew I was loosing my second baby! I called my mother ( who is an RN) and told her what I feared was happening, her words were its just a bad period, calm down and don't over react! So I called the on call dr and was told the same thing and that I should just start the bc as planned(this was on sat)! Mon my regular gyno called and told me that I had lost too much blood and that they should have sent me straight to the er and that I needed to come in! Later that day they confirmed my miscarriage! To make matters worse my husband and I were already having a rough patch and this just pushed him farther from me! On mothers day his exact words were "your not a mother get over it". So I made the decision to put trying on hold! Now that things are going better, he is the one asking me to think about starting the process again! I can tell he is really on board this time, but I'm scared! Scared that he is going to push away again, but more scared that I'm going to loose another baby! I'm just now coming out of a really deep depression and I don't want to go back! How do I find the strength to fight the fear?
|
mandyg
6 posts
Sep 20, 2011
10:29 PM
|
I just want to hug you. Honey, you ARE a mother. You have 2 children. Just because they aren't here, doesn't make them any less real. The fear you must feel at the thought of trying again has to be overwhelming. The only thing I can say is trust God. Maybe the fact that your husband is making an effort is a good sign. Take those vitamins, eat healthy, and stay away from all those things we know we shouldn't do, but sometimes do anyway, and prepare your body for the biggest job it will ever have. I have had one successful pregnancy, and one loss. It can happen, have faith, keep your head up, and most of all, keep us posted! don't forget I'm an email away
|
steph.t
5 posts
Sep 21, 2011
11:21 AM
|
It feels so good to hear someone say those things! Its the things that you think when your alone but don't think that anyone else wants to hear them! Thank you for that! Before I wrote the initial post I had reservations about doing so, I have just gotten so used to not making things about me. When someone I know says something hurtful and doesn't even realize it, I don't want to bring attention to it or to me ( especially because they have no bad intentions) but it is good to be able to focus on the pain that comes with it. And also to talk about how much I care for my babies and not have my thoughts pushed to the side!
|
|
|
|
