Coping with Miscarriage - A Woman's Perspective
Coping with miscarriage is a very personal experience that every woman will do differently. Also it will depend on the gestational age of the baby before the miscarriage. Some women form a bond with their unborn child immediately upon the news that they are pregnant, while others only do when signs and symptoms of pregnancy begin.
Coping with Miscarriage - A Woman's Perspective #1 - It's My Fault - While coping with miscarriage many women believe that it is their fault that they miscarried. Many women will even feel that they are inadequate as a woman because they must be "defective" if they can not carry a pregnancy to term. While other women will wonder what they have done to deserve such a devastating experience. Coping with Miscarriage Tip #1 - It is not your fault! Approximately 40% of miscarriages have no medical explanation for their occurences. Also 50-60% of first trimester and 20% of second trimester miscarriages are due to chromosomal abnormatlities within the fetus.
Coping with Miscarriage - A Woman's Perspective #2 - Anger. Anger is a completely normal feeling during the process of coping with miscarriage. Women can feel anger towards God for "letting this happen", medical field for not preventing the miscarriage, anger towards others who are pregnant or have children, and even their significant other for not coping with miscarriage the way they think they should. Coping with Miscarriage Tip #2 - Anger is expected during the process of coping with miscarriage. Just understand that the anger is about the pregnancy loss and not having control over this devastating experience.
Coping with Miscarriage - A Woman's Perspective #3 -Feeling of Depression. This feeling if it occurs has different severity for each person coping with miscarriage. However, a minority of women actually develop actual depression. Women may find themselves crying at odd times, not wanting to get out of bed at times, and feeling of hopelessness. Coping with Miscarriage Tip #3 - These are all normal feelings of grief. It is okay to cry and is actually healthy to cry. However, if these syptoms interfere with the woman's daily life after several weeks she may need to find addtional support through professional counseling, church, or family and friends.
Coping with Miscarriage - A Woman's Perspective #4
For Women and Men - Phrases to Expect to Hear
Coping with Miscarriage - Phrase #1 - You can always get pregnant again.
Coping with Miscarriage - Phrase #2 - It is probably better that you miscarried, since something must have been wrong with the baby.
Coping with Miscarriage - Phrase #3 - Well at least the baby wasn't born yet.
Coping with Miscarriage - Phrase #4 - God must have done it for a reason.
Coping with Miscarriage - A Man's Perspective #1 -It's My Fault - Men who are coping with miscarriage usually feel that it is their fault that their partner miscarries. They think they should not have had sexual intercourse, let them lift objects, or did not get to the hospital fast enough. Coping with Miscarriage Tip #1 - It is not your fault!! It has been proven that sexual intercourse can not cause a miscarriage and almost 95% of miscarriages can not be stopped even with medical intervention. Also normal daily activities such as lifting objects, and physical activity has not been linked to miscarriages.
Coping with Miscarriage - A Man's Perspective #2 -I must stay strong for my wife or partner. Most men while coping with miscarriage feel they can not show to much emotion and they need to be strong for their partner. Men feel that if they show emotion then they will not be able to support or help their loved one through this experience. Coping with Miscarriage Tip #2 - Show your emotions!! The loss of a pregnancy is devastating even to the father to be. Let your emotions go and share your sadness, anger, and any other emotions with your wife or partner. This will allow them to open up to you and make the healing process begin sooner than normal. It is okay to cry and not know what to say but do that with your loved one and it will make coping with miscarriage much easier.
Coping with Miscarriage - A Man's Perspective #3 -It has been months, why is my wife still so upset? Coping with miscarriage is differen for men and women. Men do not have the same bond that a woman have, because the baby is not inside their bodies. Therefore, men do not have the same intense emotions that women have. Understand that women question their womenhood and fear that maybe their bodies will not let them carry a pregnancy to term. These are concerns that men just do not have. Coping with Miscarriage Tip #3 - Men need to be patient and be there to listen and not judge their loved one. Also men can not be afraid to be honest with their partner and let them know that they are still affected by the miscarriage and if they need to cry then cry with their loved one. This is all normal aspects of coping with miscarriage.
Coping with Miscarriage - A Man's Perspective #4 - My wife doesn't want to have sex or my wife wants to get pregnant right away. Some of the most difficult times will arise several months into coping with miscarriage. Some women will not want to have anything to do with sex. The act of sex will either remind the woman of their miscarriage or she is afraid to get pregnant again and go through another miscarriage. Then on the other side of the spectrum some women want to get pregnant right away to prove that they can have a child. For men this is an extremely difficult situation in coping with miscarriage. Most men will not relate sex with the miscarriage like some women do. Other men will have difficulty because they feel pressured by their spouse or loved one to have sex and get pregnant right away and this takes the intimacy out of the sex. Coping with Miscarriage Tip #4 - Men need to try and be understanding during this time. The woman will eventually come to terms with her feelings and your sexual life will be back to normal. The most important aspect during this phase of coping with miscarriage is communication. Both the man and the woman need to be truly honest about their feelings and fears to help get to a healthy relationship again.
Coping with Miscarriage - A Man's Perspective-I will never get pregnant again or I am afraid to get pregnant again. While coping with miscarriage it is only natural to feel that it may happen again to you. Especially when a lot of women try for a long time to get pregnant and then this devastating experience occurs. Coping with Miscarriage Tip #4 - 90% of women who experience a miscarriage with the first pregnancy will have a successful second pregnancy. Do not give up hope while coping with miscarriage and allow yourself to grieve but do not loose the hope of having children some day. Also realize that all women are afraid when they get pregnant again after a miscarriage. So do your best and try not to worry about "what if it happens again".
